Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
