Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
