I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
