who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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