I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
