Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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