Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Terrible idea I love it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
