God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
