i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
