This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
