i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
