I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
