nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
