"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
