I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
