Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
