i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
