Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
