I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
