I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
