Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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