She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
