Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The ass gains better be worth it
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