Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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