I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
