i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
