I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
