Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
