there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
