I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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