so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You're like the curious george of whores
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
