i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
