Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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