hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
