I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
