My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
