Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
