where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
