Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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