found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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