best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
