Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
