I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
