is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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