the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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