I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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