I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
