This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
