wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
