Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
