Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
