I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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