I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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