Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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