your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
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