I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
