They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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