All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize