you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
