What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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