I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
