wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize