What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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